THE LOCKER ROOM CONUNDRUM

                 

                                THE LOCKER ROOM CONUNDRUM 

I am no longer disgusted, what I am feeling cannot be written, our vocabulary is limited, so no matter the order I place the alphabets in, there is no specific word that can describe how I feel. It makes me sick, to an extent that physical symptoms show, to an extent that for some old nightmares will return, some memories they had buried will find a way to haunt them again, to an extent that many won't be able to function normally because it hurts that much. It makes us question, what are we to them? When they look at us what do they really see? Just flesh? Objects to satisfy their lusts? A means to physical gratification? Is that all?

An Instagram group ‘boy’s locker room’, where minors are discussing their unthinkable desires to rape woman. Morphed photos of girls were shared in that group, where then they were openly slut shamed, and plans were made to carry out this heinous act. An entire gender is being subjected to physical objectification. Do they even understand this? The lifelong psychological, emotional and physical effects of a woman who is subjected to this brutality? Can they decipher the cruelty behind the remarks they have made? I don't think so

We know how this discussion ends, by fabricating some kind of lie to make sure those boys evade the repercussion of their actions. We will end the discussion by saying 'boys will be boys' or 'kia tou nahi na’. But let's for once not end the discussion there. Let’s for once explore the dark and uncharted territories. Let's get one thing straight, we as a society nurture those red flags by labelling them teenage mistakes, we blame them on hormones, stress, company anything but the person doing it. We make sure that they can avoid the situations where they are held accountable, in short in our own selfishness to protect them we push them further on the wrong track.

There is something Khalid Hosseini wrote in his novel Thousand splendid suns that ' Learn this now and learn this well, like a compass needle that points north a man's accusing finger always finds a woman always'

So if we are to take the blame I want us to take the blame for the right things. Our clothes have nothing to do with this, timing does not instigate such behavior, places and ages are not the factors contributing to this kind of outrage. We take the blame that our men are not raised right. We take the blame we have based their entire life on a toxic masculinity concept that has corrupted their ability to admit when they are wrong. We take the blame that mothers foster those traits, that sisters don’t stop brothers when they look at other girls in a certain way. That sadly it has become a way of life something we have compromised over, but we shouldn’t have.

They are children that should be educated, allowed to face the consequences of their actions. Punished? Yes, but the aim here is to get them out of that mindset, it’s to make them let go off that behavior. What we need is a reform of character, it’s to make sure that the next time those boys go out they are not a safety threat. We can't keep doing this, putting all the blame on the victim. We can't possible expect a different outcome from the same approach. Let's not make this another trending hashtag, let's not make this another wave that will die as soon as something more interesting pops up. We have to take measure to create a safer environment. What happened in south Delhi is not something that we haven't experienced in our country. Slut shaming, morphed photos, raped threads, gang rapes are no longer tragedies of unknown, it is happening around us. Measure should be taken now, educate them that woman are not commodities, that woman are not for playing, that woman should be respected.

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